Weddings are a wonderful time for both families to unite and work towards a unified goal for the happiness of their son or daughter. All is blissful and jolly until someone brings up the issue of money……..this is a topic which can create turmoil between groups and could soon become the root tension between you and your partner. It could turn very quickly into a blame-game or why the other party should pay XXXX dollars. Not pleasant during such an auspicious time.
Now if both groups have all the money in the world, then the likelihood of encountering these problems is almost nil, however for the majority of us…..we like to thank credit cards for making wedding dreams a reality!
So what’s fair? Most Indians residing in India are likely to opt for the traditional ‘the bridal family will pay for the wedding ceremony’ and the ‘groom’s side will cover the reception event.’ In the western world, this is also prevalent, but only to some extent. It is now common for the bride and groom to contribute substantially for the wedding costs, and whether that money goes towards the venue or videography, it really isn’t a cheap deal! This does depend on where you are having your events, so a temple is much cheaper than having the ceremony in a private function room or in a private garden. The numbers of people you invite will also deepen your wallet expenses and this is another cause for arguments. What will be fair should be discussed by all contributing groups, and the bride and groom should also consider these discussions prior to family involvement. Always be considerate of the other group as much as you are considerate of your own blood.
How much is fair? Once you weigh costs and see that the bride is paying $5,000 less than the groom’s side, it can quickly expand to a family debacle; especially by nosy aunties…..The couple need to ensure that all costs are fairly distributed. We recommended that the bride-groom choose their photographer, videographer and their outfits, and they should pay for this as a COUPLE. The rest of the events can be divided between family or once again the couple. If you stay calm and try to think in the other person’s shoes, you will always have a better understanding of the situation. We would also recommend families avoid explaining all costs and expenses between extended family members as this will in turn lead to frustration and you may forever hear their nagging opposition for the rest of your life……
In the end, the wedding is a symbolic event for the bride-groom and their families. You need to decide on whether you will have a big affair or private ceremony and how much BOTH parties can AFFORD. Spend within your means, and don’t get carried away! Once the budget is set, the rest is a breeze.
Remember, money issues are a common factor to marriage failures, be considerate of the other person and your new family. Be reasonable and practical if needed. A better understanding between the bridal couple will only benefit your communication skills for a better and happier marriage.